I am never going to beat U.N. Squadron. But that's okay.

Kids these days don't know how easy they have it. When I was growing up, video games were hard as fuck-all. 


They had no sympathy for you. If you wanted to beat one, you had to be good at it, and the only way to do that was to spend hours upon hours playing it until you knew what it was going to throw at you next. The ability to save your game removed any real challenge out of gaming. 

I don't really play video games anymore. The last one I got into was Metal Gear Solid 3, and that was almost 10 years ago now. Every now and then I fire up some oldies for good measure, like the first Mega Man game. You think kids today could handle Mega Man? Bitch, please. I can barely clear Guts Man's stage anymore. Twenty years have dulled my skills considerably, but even back in the day that was no easy task.  


Chief among my favorite old games is this: U.N. Squadron, also known as Area 88. It's an old-school shooter, arguably the best of them all. And it is HARD. I still haven't beaten it, even on the easiest difficulty setting (remember "easy mode" and "hard mode?") I can't even get halfway through it. I have tried my best but it has never happened for me. And I'm fine with that. Life, as I have found, is about managing expectations.

Still, I keep trying. Maybe one day, I'll find myself with a lot of time to kill and an incredible streak of luck at my hands. Maybe Capcom Jesus will be smiling down on me that day.


But I doubt it. 

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